"If we are facing in the right direction . . .

. . . all we have to do is keep on walking."

I finally feel that at this point in my life I'm facing in the right direction (well, maybe a few degrees off, but generally speaking).

I have a job. Granted, I don't make as much as I should, and I don't work as hard as I can, but atleast I have a job. A step. All I need to do is just keep on walking this road, and it can only get better.

I have amazing friends! You couldn't ask for a better support system. I know that the people who are with me now are those that will be there forever. It feels amazing to finally reach that point in your life where you have found your lifelong friends. It took awhile, it hurt a little bit, and it sure was confusing.. but the long road to where I stand now, with these amazing people by my side, was totally worth it.

I have a Masters degree. I didn't think I could do it. I got really scared. I came within millimeters of bailing on the whole thing. I perservered. I kept on walking, even though it was hard, mortifying, and depressing. I made it.

I have the future. It is mine for the taking. I will embrace every opportunity I'm given, enjoy ever breath I take.

“Then indecision brings its own delays . . .

. . . And days are lost lamenting o'er lost days.
Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute;
What you can do, or dream you can, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”


So, in breaking news, we're going to Knoxville the weekend of May 15th. This is exciting! A getaway! Meet-in-the-middle weekend with the bestest!! :-) Girls weekend, for sure. I loooove SPONTANEITY!

Things are good.

"All the statistics in the world . . .

. . . can't measure the warmth of a smile."

Waking up a little bit brighter today, despite the rain and the incessant urge to turn the alarm off instead of hitting snooze. I managed to leave on time, make it to the staffing agency to turn in my time card, as well as get to campus early enough to trek to Patterson Hall and drop off my Graduation Attendance sheet.

This is my last week of teaching, thank god. I mean, I enjoy making a difference and helping them out, but the routine is so incredibly monotonous. Since I'm teaching as an assistant, I follow the professor's plan, not my own. It'd be so much nicer to follow my own ideas. Anyway, it'll all be over after Wednesday.

Work: There are three statistics coders, myself included. Friday, Eric walked out. And then there were two.

This implies more work for myself and less FB. Lame!

I am procrastinating. I have homework due tomorrow. I have yet to start it. I don't care.

I need some BFF time -- let the countdown begin. I guess that means I need to decide on a visit date for reals. I'll get back to you on that.

"The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation, which depend on the future . . .

. . . We let go the present, which we have in our power, and look forward to that which depends upon chance, and so relinquish a certainty for an uncertainty."

If we weren't willing to face the uncertainties, where would we get ourselves? Nowhere. That doesn't mean uncertainty isn't hard. It is hard. It's scary, defeating, and tiring, but it's life. In order to change and grow, we must take risks; in order to take risks, we must face uncertainties. I just wish that I were better at maintaining my emotional stability while hanging in limbo.

It's freeing to let go of everything that you know for certain, that you've grown comfortable with, that you have accepted as normal. It's exciting to hope, to dream, to wish for the future.

It's just scary being vulnerable, but sometimes I think it would be easier if I just wore my heart on my sleeve.


~~~~~

One and a half weeks left of my educational career. I will be a free woman, with a Masters degree in hand. I am so incredibly excited to be done with school. It's time I learned to live in the real world.


~~~~~

Things are good. I'm happy. But that doesn't mean I can't be scared.